Thursday, July 30, 2009

I could not come up with a word for this...

...but I had to share it.

The other night, Husband wandered into the bathroom, wondering to himself whether or not he should shave. As he was wondering, he broke out into a Shakespearean fit and started reciting a parody of Hamlet's soliloquy (the infamous "To be or not to be..." speech).

Philosopher Child wandered in and asked about what he was saying. I heard Husband tell him that he was talking about Hamlet, who was wondering about life. I know, not quite true, but let's not tell a 5-year-old that it was about a guy wondering if he should kill himself, OK?

Anyway, Philosopher Child came running to me.

"Do you know about a person named Hamlet?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," I replied.

"Yeah, he wanted to know about life."

Oh, my. Too funny not to share.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Prayers for Stellan

Many of you out in the blogosphere know about baby Stellan and his family. If you don't, let me tell you he's had a long and hard battle with heart problems. In the past few days, he's gotten worse. For those of you who pray, prayers for his recovery, strength and comfort for his family, and wisdom for his care givers would be greatly appreciated.

You can see his story here:

Thank you.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Lacktivity: noun. A normal and common activity that you realize you've never done.

Get ready for a shock. I'm shocked with myself, honestly.

Viking Toddler's birthday is next week. He'll be a whopping 2-years-old. And birthday, of course, means birthday cake. I usually make baked goods from scratch, but for some reason I do birthday cakes from a box. Go figure.

So, as the time as is approaching, I brought up the idea (half jokingly) that we should make cupcakes instead of a full birthday cake.

And then it hit me.

I have never made cupcakes.


My oldest child is 5, and I have never, ever made cupcakes. How does that happen? It's like a few months ago when a dropped a raw egg as I was taking it out of the fridge. Of course it hit the floor and made a mess but I wasn't upset that I dropped the egg. I was, however, curious as to how it was that I had managed never to drop an egg before.

Shouldn't I, for some reason, at some point in my life, have had a need to make cupcakes?

Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm going with it

I've decided to go with the new names I've picked out. From now on, Monkey Son #1 will be Philosopher Child, and Monkey Son #2 will be Viking Toddler. Pardon me if I sometimes forget and use the Monkey names in a fit of mindless creativity.

Did I mention that yesterday Viking Toddler stole a large toy pirate ship from his brother? Oh, yeah. That pretty much solidified it. That, and he loves the ocean.

Have you ever seen Lyle the Kindly Viking? It's a VeggieTales episode in which a group of vikings go off raiding and pillaging and whatnot. After Lyle receives his share of the loot, he sneaks off to return his share to the monks that the vikings had just robbed.

In my view, Philosopher Child is the one sneaking off to return his share to the monks. Viking Toddler is the one demanding a flat screen TV from them.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm contemplating a change...

From the time I started this blog, I've referred to my boys as Monkey Son #1 and Monkey Son #2. I call them both monkey at home, especially when they are being, well, monkeys. The problem with this is approach is, for one, I'm worried that this may be confusing to readers. And for another, I end up getting them confused. At times I type the wrong number for one of them, totally confusing the story.

So, here's my proposition, and I think it fits.

Change Monkey Son #1 to Philosopher Child. Too hippyish? I came up with this because he is always trying to figure out the ways of the world and asking really deep and hard to answer questions, like, "Did God build our house?" He is also really into explaining to me the way he thinks things should work.

Change Monkey Son #2 to Viking Toddler. This little guy has some true characteristics of his Danish heritage, from the red hair to his athletic ability. He also plots how to raid his brother's playthings and take back the plunder for himself. I have to credit husband for the name, as I once heard him refer to our little one as "Viking Baby."

So what do you all think? Good change or keep things the way they are?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Preschool Manners Part II

Click here for part one.

Preschool Manners: noun. Actions that would be considered rude by an adult, but seem harmless, even honest, to preschoolers.

Monkey Son #1 came up to me the other day to hug me. I was standing upright, and his head only comes to my middle. When he hugged me, he laid his head on my stomach.

"Mommy!" he said. "Your belly is squishy!"

Nice. Thanks.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Grocery Hopping

Grocery Hopping: verb. Grocery shopping with small children as you hop from aisle to aisle trying to keep the kids entertained and within reach.

We get pretty regular thunderstorms this time of year. There must have been a 2-for-1 special in the sky today, because we got hit, then hit again. But between hit 1 and hit 2, we needed to go grocery shopping. So we got everyone in the car (grocery shopping is family experience with us), and headed out, watching the dark clouds making progress towards us.

We got to the store and tried to do a mad dash to get out before the next storm wallops us. Husband and I were both grabbing what we needed and tossing it in the cart, splitting up to different aisles, meeting back up again a short time later with armfuls of necessities.

Husband went to select meat with Monkey Son #2 strapped in the cart, and I took Monkey Son #1 down the way to get fruit. He started begging for berries. Oh, look, blueberries are on sale! Here ya go. Monkey Son #1 clutched the precious perforated plastic container of blueberries while yelling about the blueberries across the produce section to Husband, who had just passed us with Monkey Son #2.

(With me so far?)

I told Monkey Son #1 to quiet down while I grabbed the rest of what we needed in the produce section, and met Husband and Monkey Son #2 again at the head of the aisle. Monkey Son #1, still ridiculously excited about the blueberries

threw them

not gently laid

threw them

into the cart. The package is not sealed by any sort of sticker and it burst open and suddenly it was raining blueberries. All over the cart and the raw meat and the floor.

We scrambled to pick them up and get them back into the container. Husband directed me to customer service, and told me to tell them what happened, that we'd pay for them, and we didn't want them.

At customer service, the man and woman (not a couple) in front of me and the employee were merrily talking about their children and their children's hair color. After some time of this chatter, it was my turn.

"Two boys," I said, taking up the conversation where the previous people had left it. "One is blond, one is a redhead. The blond one threw these into the cart and it opened and spilled blueberries everywhere."

In the end, I ended up paying for them (although I think she was ready to give me a refund damage receipt so I could get another package, but remember the storm? We're in a hurry here).

And when we got back, Monkey Son #1 looked at us and said, "Did we get blueberries?"

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Apronize: verb. Working to improve your housekeeping ability.

Housekeeping skills are something I have been learning in my adulthood. Why it has taken almost 10 years into my adulthood to grasp it in its vaguest sense is rather complicated, and I won't dive into it. But if you know me personally, you probably know why.

Here's a guilty secret: I sometimes watch Martha Stewart's show, as much as I don't want to. Sometimes. And only a few minutes at a time. It's something that I hate about myself. Most of the show either bores me or I don't think it really applies to me. But occasionally I get some gleam of interest or tip that I can use. Swirling the icing on cakes to hide my hideously not smooth icing job is one of them. So, every few days for a few minutes, I tune in. And I watch. And I hope for something that's going to help with my underdeveloped housekeepingness, or perhaps my need for craftiness that's not going to cost a ton. (Ooh..."Housekeepingness." Spell check says it's not a word. I'll have to add it to the Mom-tionary.)

Speaking of Martha, apparently she's doing a week long tribute to cupcakes. During one of these select times when I get a few select minutes of watching in, I saw that she made some cupcakes and gave a few ladies in the audience one each. A short time later, she turned to them and asked if they had eaten them. They responded that they had, to which the dear hostess replied, a little surprised, "All of it?"

Do you want to laugh? I do. Being shocked that someone ate a whole cupcake. That's funny.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Another fantastic apron giveaway!

I dig aprons. Have you picked up on that? In fact, I just finished making two of my very own.

The lovely ladies over at The Apron Goddesses are giving away another fantastic apron. You can check it out here. I don't really like half-aprons because I'm just too messy for them to serve a purpose, but for this one, I'll make an exception. Hurry up and enter! Today is the last day!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Momare: noun. A dream that shows even when asleep, a mom is still a mom.

As I lay sleeping last night, I dreamed there was a plate of cookies on the table. The cookies were meant for someone specific. Then I dreamed that someone who they were not meant for was reaching for the cookies. (Was it a child or a short adult? Not sure.) Anyway, in the dream I reached out and slapped the person's hand to get them away from the cookies.

Meanwhile, back in reality, I really had reached out in my sleep just as I did in the dream. Oh, yes, I reached out... and slapped Husband squarely on the forehead.

The contact woke both of us up. I woke up apologizing (though I wasn't awake enough to know why), and he woke up yelling incomprehensibly. Then we both woke up enough to laugh about it, and I told him to leave the cookies alone next time.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th!

Good morning, everyone, and Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone has a fantastic day and has the day off of work.

We've been trying to figure out what to do with our day, but unfortunately what we can do is limited by crowds and some insane mosquitoes. Just walking outside right now is an invitation for the local insect population and their three hundred closest friends to make you a three course meal.

That being said, so far we're spending the morning by watching 1776. If you've never seen it, it's quite good. A sort of musical comedy/drama about how the Declaration of Independence came about, following rather snotty John Adams, lovelorn but brilliant Thomas Jefferson, and the ever (in)sane Ben Franklin.

And now to figure out whether we'll go see fireworks, go to the zoo, go to the beach, or do nothing at all.