Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Superhero in Sensible Shoes

Have you ever sat down and watched any superhero shows with your kids? I have. And seriously, something needs to be said here about the female of the superhero species. See, I've decided that supervillains must be stupid.

Really stupid.

Because, well, superhero gals generally have huge *ahem* upper parts and itty, bitty waists. A smart villain would, were they not so stupid, merely tap the superhero girls on the shoulder. Due to their wildly disproportionate frames, the small tap on the shoulder would cause them to fall over, snapping them like a twig in the process.

But, you know, villains are morons. That's why they're villains, I guess.

And seriously, what is up with their SHOES??? If I'm going to be running around, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, kicking bad guys in the face, I want a good sneaker. Or, at least a ballet flat with a decent sole. What I don't want is a knee-high boot with a freaking 6-inch heel. You're not a go-go dancer, sister! Nor are you a fashionista or a cowboy with questionable taste in footwear.

Over the past 24 hours I have made 3 loaves of bread, a tray of cookies, 3 pizzas, cleaned the bathroom, done a bunch of laundry, gone back and forth to school, broken up fights, and located lost items all while wearing sensible shoes. I am a superhero.

And I bet I could still kick a supervillain in the face.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Habithate: noun. A habit that makes you part of who you are, but annoy people who don't get it.

I love Crocs.

There. I said it.

Are you angry with me? I think most of the people who read this blog either have a pair themselves or don't give two flying flips if other people do. Or, they at least tolerate them. But some people hate them on levels that are unimaginable to my mind. Shoe-burning hatred. A hatred so deep that they not only don't want them themselves, they can't tolerate seeing anyone else wear them.

But why my love when others hate them so? Well, I can't find shoes that fit me right. Seriously. I've had one pair in the past several years that were awesome, but I've never been able to find another pair like them. I can't explain it. Maybe my feet are shaped funny or something.

My point is this: Crocs sort of mold to my feet. Therefore, they fit. Also, since as a mom of two young children I'm on my feet quite a lot, kneading bread, picking up toys, cleaning, so on and so forth, a pair of shoes that fit are extremely handy to have. So there.

For the rest of the world, that means sometimes you'll see me wear them when I pick my kids up from school, particularly if I'm in a rush. You may see me wear them when I run out to do an errand. You won't see me wear them in church, or to an important school function. They are merely my here-to-there-to-back-again shoes.

And I'm not getting rid of them.

But mostly, I don't get what makes people angry about them. Because they're ugly? I think neon colors are ugly, but they don't make me angry.