Monday, June 15, 2009


Momfense: noun. An action or word that makes a mom feel offended or that she needs to go on the defensive.

The other day a friend and I were idly chatting. I think I had mentioned something about Husband's job or degree when she said, "But you have your degree, too, right?"

I told her that yes, I did. (I have a bachelor's in English).

"I never understood why someone would spend that much money on education just to stay home," she replied.

Whoa. Back up a second. What did she just say to me? What is that supposed to mean?

I stammered something about staying home wasn't my original plan (it wasn't) and I may go back to work when the kids are in school (may or may not).

What I wish I had said was I don't think education is a waste of money and I am doing what is best for me and my family. That's how I really feel.

What is so curious is why I felt I had to defend my position at all. I wasn't angry as much I was mildly offended by the remark. To me, it was as if she was telling me that I had done a foolish thing by going to college if my plan was to be a stay-at-home mother. Sorry. Even if that had been the plan, I wouldn't trade my Shakespeare and poetry classes for the world.


Kristin said...

Uhm...yeah. I got that one the other day. I have a master's degree and stay home and homeschool. What your "friend" forgot about was the bread truck theory. I mean, yes you stay home and love on your babies. But what if something awful happened to dh rendering him unable to win bread for your family? Then you would need gainful employment... your degree wouldn't be such a "waste" then now would it?

Kristina said...

I've never thought of it in those terms, but yes, exactly! Occasionally I browse through classifieds to see what is out there in case something were to ever happen to dh. Then at least I know what is out there for people like me. I would not think twice about going back to work if necessary. Like I said, it's all about doing what is best for your family.

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Halloo dearie...what kind of FRIEND is that ye have there? I have a pet rattlesnake, too. HA! ...Grrr...well dearie she's jealous, that's what was behind her snarky little remark...get one of yer Shakespeare quotes all ready fer next time and just drop it on her like a bomb...hmph...

Kristina said...

LOL, thanks, Dame!