In case you weren't getting the idea of why I call him that, here's a couple of real head scratchers he's said in the past few days.
"Does God eat breakfast every day?"
"Was I always real?"
"Did God make our house?" After all, He did make everything, so... Um...
"He has pointed teeth, so he's a vampire." No amount of reasoning would cause him to let go of this one. I tried.