Indirections: noun. Directions that make no sense.
So, the other day we left the monkeys with a sitter and took the fluffy one to get her yearly shots. All went well, except of course, she needed to be muzzled because she just doesn't dig the doctor's office.
Anyway, on the way out, I mentioned to the nurses that she had tear staining under her eye, and do they know what would cause that?
"We're just nurses," they replied. "We aren't allowed to give that kind of advice. You'll have to see the doctor."
OK, I wasn't sure it was THAT big of a deal, but... I understand that protocol is protocol.
A few minutes later, one of the nurses came to me and whispered conspiritorially, "While you are waiting to see the doctor, you can use an eyewash. It could be something in her eye." She proceeded to give me (give as in hand it to me. I had to buy it) a bottle of eyewash in a small box.
"It's like eyewash for people," she said, "but this one is for dogs." Remember that. It's important to the point of the story.
Sounds about right. While we are sitting there waiting for the results of the annual heartworm test, I glance at the instructions on the box. The first thing I see, I kid you not, is this:
Remove contact lenses before use.
Are you with me? And that wasn't the only instruction that didn't make sense. I was reading down the list and found that most of the instructions didn't actually apply. At least, not to dogs.
(By the way, it turns out it was probably dirt in her eye. All fixed, no vet visit necessary.)